All we have left is each other
This post, as a part of our ongoing series on Natural Development in work systems, explores the dynamics of uncertainty avoidance in groups and shares practical insights from personal experience. While this journey is challenging, it offers an opportunity for meaningful growth, both for individuals and the teams they belong to.
In times long past, when humanity faced uncertainty, we turned to gods or external forces for answers. Now, in the absence of such deities, all we have is each other. This shift in responsibility has profoundly shaped modern organizational life, where leadership increasingly involves facilitating groups of autonomous, outspoken individuals who temporarily find their place in a team or organization.
Yet, the natural challenges of team formation remain unchanged. Teams often begin their journey in a state that can be summed up as: “I can (barely) do it”—a phase rife with uncertainty. Without careful navigation, it’s all too easy for a team to become stuck here, bogged down by mechanisms designed to avoid confronting this uncertainty.
Unpacking Uncertainty Avoidance Mechanisms
Uncertainty avoidance takes many forms, often creating distractions that prevent teams from addressing core issues. Here are a few mechanisms commonly seen in groups stuck in the “I can (barely)” phase:
- Blaming others: Whether it’s other departments or external factors, assigning fault to others becomes an easy escape.
- Demonizing tools or processes: The environment, equipment, or outdated procedures become scapegoats.
- Scapegoating individuals: One person becomes the target, absorbing frustrations that should be collectively addressed.
- Clinging to hierarchy: Teams call for a leader or “rescuer” to solve their problems, avoiding the responsibility to solve them themselves.
- Over-reliance on rules: Constantly seeking new guidelines or regulations creates an illusion of order while stifling creativity.
- Romanticizing roles: Teams introduce new roles like “troubleshooters” or “firefighters,” which disguise problems rather than solve them.
These mechanisms reflect the same ancient impulses that once sought divine intervention. They avoid addressing the real challenges at hand: the uncertainty of development and the discomfort of personal growth.
From Avoidance to Engagement: A Facilitator’s Role
Facilitating teams through uncertainty is an art that requires both skill and self-awareness. It’s not just about the group—it’s deeply personal. As a facilitator, you bring your own experiences, vulnerabilities, and emotional intelligence to the table. Here are some approaches that have proven effective:
- Offer Objective Feedback: Help individuals confront reality by describing specific behaviors or outcomes. For example, instead of vague critique, say: “At 10:31 AM, you folded it this way and said X.” This directness helps break through denial and avoidance.
- Encourage Reflection: Asking “What did you do that for?” invites introspection and learning. Avoid “Why?”—it often triggers defensiveness. Instead, focus on purpose: “What was that meant to achieve?”
- Contain Emotions: A facilitator often absorbs the emotions of a group—anger, fear, or frustration. Acknowledge these feelings without making them personal. Reflect them back to the group, giving space for discussion and resolution.
- Maintain Presence: Even in the face of conflict or exclusion, stay with the group. Your role is to hold the tension of uncertainty, helping the team process it constructively.
When Uncertainty Becomes Personal
Facilitators are not immune to the emotional weight of their role. Sometimes, the avoidance mechanisms of a group can feel like personal attacks:
- You may be accused of causing problems or seen as a scapegoat.
- Your authority, group, or methods might be undermined.
- You might even absorb emotions—feeling depressed, helpless, or physically unwell.
Recognizing that these feelings often stem from the group rather than yourself is vital. Ground yourself in the knowledge that these emotions are part of the process. Acknowledge them, share your experience with the team, and let them decide how to proceed.
The Need for Reflective Leadership
Uncertainty avoidance doesn’t just happen within teams; it also affects leadership and facilitation groups. Team dynamics often play out in microcosm among facilitators, making reflective practice essential. Taking time to reflect—whether over meals or in structured settings—ensures facilitators can recognize and address these dynamics in themselves.
The Messenger of Change
It’s easy to dismiss the individual who first gives voice to a group’s uncertainties. They’re often met with resistance or ridicule. Yet, these “messengers” are crucial. Their courage to speak up can catalyze change within the team. Supporting them—not silencing them—can help the entire group move forward.
Uncertainty is an inescapable part of growth, and the mechanisms we use to avoid it are as old as humanity itself. Yet, by facing these challenges with honesty, empathy, and a willingness to engage, we open the door to real development.
Disclaimer
These insights are based on the writings and teachings of Ad Schalkx. His work on organizational dynamics and natural development continues to guide and shape our perspective at Oak Studios.